


Something’s Gotta Give

by DiveIn_HeadFirst_CantLose



Category: All Elite Wrestling
Genre: Angst, Arguments, Autistic Kenny hc, Did somebody order dysfunction?, Everyone Has Issues, Found Family, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Kenny is probably a bit OOC but I needed the catharsis, M/M, Panic Attacks, Revolution 2020, Sensory Overload, Thank you to that one post about that spot, The infamous Golden Trigger Spot, because I needed some comfort, gone wrong, man this is just so sad in general, nearly a year since Revolution 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:47:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29827938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiveIn_HeadFirst_CantLose/pseuds/DiveIn_HeadFirst_CantLose
Summary: Revolution.A word with so much meaning.Kenny wished he could make it meaningless again
Relationships: Kenny Omega/"Hangman" Adam Page, Kenny Omega/Ibushi Kota (Mentioned)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

He's already unsteady on his feet. Right in the centre of the ring. Nowhere to run. Nowhere to go. 

The first superkick sends him staggering, if only slightly, and the second has him stumbling back. He knows he's in trouble, Adam has been laid out on the outside, he's all alone. The numbers game has been turned on him once again.

The double superkick knocked him to his knees, and he keeps his head down for a moment. The pain is blinding, but he's built a career out of this. He can take it.

The white hot sting fades to a dull ache, and he looks up at them both. Standing there, looking down at him. Preparing themselves for what's to come, what they're about to do.

They're looking at him as an enemy. The contempt is unfamiliar, and that alone is enough to unsettle him. They're each holding onto one of his hands. The look in their eyes makes sense now, and he whispers a soft word

 _"Don't."_

It's a desperate plea, a frantic one. They don't listen, Kenny didn't expect them to. He knew Matt and Nick would do anything to win. They were driven, they had to be to get as far as they had. He just hadn't expected this from his friends, to do something as borderline evil as this. Perhaps he'd expect it from someone like Cody, but never from someone as loyal as Matt and Nick.

He flinches slightly, as the words that feel so familiar falling from his lips reach his ears.

“Golden Trigger!" 

It's said in perfect unison, they aim their hands to the sky in synchronisation, as if they'd rehearsed it. They must have rehearsed it, it's done perfectly. 

Kenny doesn't want to think of how they had so clearly planned this. It wasn't a spur of the moment decision. They had thought about it, they had known what it would mean to him, and they still did it.

Memories rush through him, bringing him the strength and courage that he needs. There's fire in his blood, there's outrage. For a moment, he hates them both. 

He doesn't want to look as the memories rush by, he doesn't want to think of him. Even his name is too painful to recall. He lays back on the canvas, floored from the impact, the pain in his jaw making his head ring. 

Nick goes for the cover. The fire burns brighter, burns golden, rushing through him and filling him with life. He kicks out at one, springing up to his hands and knees.

The look in his eyes is wild, he knows it. He feels like he's invincible. If he can take the harshest betrayal of his life, he can take anything they can throw at him. 

"Do it again." He growls. His voice doesn't feel like his own anymore, but he means the words with everything he is. "I dare you."

He takes the harsh assault with no complaint, kicking out with just as much ease. The rest of the match is a blur, he doesn't remember anything after that. All he remembers is that they won.

Now it's late, well into the early hours of the morning, and the Elite are sat in a hotel room together. Normally that would be alright, normally that would be considered fun.

Not here, not in Chicago. Not when it's only been hours since they were in the ring together. Not when it's only been hours since Matt and Nick had almost decapitated him with a golden trigger.

Adam is drinking straight from the bottle, and Kenny is feeling so upset that he almost joins him, despite abstaining from alcohol and other substances. The only reason he doesn't, is because he knows the scorn he'll face from Matt and Nick.

If Kenny didn't care so much about what his friends thought of him, there's a lot of things he would be doing right now. He'd be crying, he'd be calling Kota. He never picks up, but Kenny has left a few voicemails for him. He hopes that Kota isn't lonely out there. He hopes they keep him company. 

He's the first to break the silence, he can't listen to the static in his head any longer. His ears are still ringing from the impact, even hours later. 

"How could you?" He says. His voice is hoarse and stained with betrayal, as if it had all hit him at once. His knees are pulled up to his chest, he's hugging them close.

"It stays in the ring." Matt said. He doesn't mean for it to sound as harsh as it does. He's already feeling so guilty it almost hurts, he really doesn't want to talk about the match. "You said whatever happens stays in there, that we've leave it all behind in that ring."

"Yeah? Well, things change." Kenny snapped back, hurt. "You can't expect me to just forgive you for what you did out there."

He hate show his voice breaks, hates the vulnerability he's unwittingly showing. He'll always love Kota, a part of Kenny will always be his. Everyone knows that. 

For Matt and Nick to hurt him this way... using the treasured memories of the man he still loved in an attempt to throw him off course...

It's unforgivable.

"We're your best friends."

He actually laughs at that. "Yeah. I thought that too. Then my two best friends decided that they would throw away a 10 year friendship for a moment of glory. You knew what that would do to me. It was all a big fucking game to you. That's my memories. They aren't yours to play with!"

"Those titles mean the world to us, you know that-" Matt defends. This had all been Nick's idea anyway. Stupid Nick and his stupid ideas.

"More than me? More than Adam? More than everything the four of us have done together?" Kenny sighed and shook his head. "I thought I knew you. I thought we were family."

"Kenny-" Matt starts, but Kenny covers his ears. He continues anyway, but Kenny doesn't hear a word. He doesn't let himself hear any of it. He only goes back to hugging his knees when Matt has given up trying to justify himself. 

The silence is thick. It doesn't feel silent to Kenny. He can hear the lights humming, he can hear his own breathing and heartbeat, and it's deafening. It drowns out every other sound, and he's losing all sense of control.

"I can't fucking do this anymore." Adam says. He is looking at Kenny now, staring beyond his soul. There's something intense in his stare, and the atmosphere changes to one of great unease and discomfort. His stomach drops.

"Can't do what?" Kenny said gently, in a whisper. It's just barely audible, tinged with fear.

"Us." He spat, and Kenny's blood ran cold. "Getting half of you just isn't enough, Kenny."

Kenny looked at him, aghast. He was frustrated and hurt, not even knowing what to say in response to that. He stammers slightly as he retorts

"I- I'm giving you all that I can! It's not my fault that I'm not who I'm used to be. You don't need to remind me! I know I'm not the best bout machine anymore, I know I'm a disappointment!"

His own yelling burns his ears, makes them feel like they're about to bleed. Everything is moving so fast except for him, and the static crackles louder than before.

"I wasn't talking about the match." Adam snapped, and Kenny's blood runs cold. He hates the way his sinking suspicion is confirmed. He pretends he doesn't understand, he hopes with all his heart that he is wrong, just mistaken.

"Then... what are you talking about..?"

"You know what I'm talking about." Adam snarled. His tone is so mean that Kenny doesn't even recognise his voice. It sounds like a recording of someone else.

"I don't!" He insisted.

"Then let's have a refresher, shall we?! About how you left your heart in Japan and gave me a cheap knock-off. How you expected me to believe you when you said you loved me when all you ever do is lie! Or how about the way you play pretend and treat me like some stand in for what you can't have!"

"That's not what this is, Adam-" He starts, but he's cut off.

"I'm not an idiot. I was blind not to see it before, but this incident makes it all very clear who all the 'I love you's were really for. I'm a replacement for the one thing you can't have. The one thing you could never keep nor control."

"That's not true!" Kenny defended. It's not, Kenny does love Adam dearly, but it feels very different to the way he loved Kota. That doesn't mean their bond isn't just as meaningful. 

Kenny loves Kota still, he'll never stop loving him, but that doesn't mean he can't love Adam just as much.

"That's the opposite of what's happening, Adam! Everything I did out there was for you! For us. Everything that I endured... it was always for you."

"Then you'll look me in the eyes and tell me you love me." Adam demanded. 

"I love you." Kenny said, without the slightest hesitation. 

"Tell me I'm not him." 

"Adam-" 

"Say it!" He demands, and the intensity of the eye contact makes him feel like his soul has been set alight. His eyes dart down to the floor.

"You're not him." He murmurs. 

"Look me in the eyes and say it, Kenny."

He's crying now. Adam's voice is too loud, everything is too much, he's so tired. The emotional circuit breaker has tripped, he's so overwhelmed he feels like he's going to faint.

"You're not Kota. You're Adam, and I love you. I love you and I'd do whatever it takes to make you happy." 

His own voice sounds like it's coming through a radio, it feels foreign to his ears. He knows he's starting to hyperventilate, he can feel it.

Adam scoffed at Kenny's tearful words, and Kenny's heart feels like it's going to shatter. Adam has been cold to him whilst drunk, but he's never been cruel like this.

"Liar. Every time you say it, it sounds more and more like the lie we both know that it is. You were never saying it to me, were you?"

Kenny just looks down. He doesn't care if that makes him seem guilty, not right now. He's still quietly crying, but now his chest heaves with every sob. His world is already fractured and falling apart, and he did leave a part of himself in Japan. He can't lose anything else. 

Matt and Nick feel like two kids caught in the middle of a messy divorce, as they watch the argument unfold. Adam is clearly drunk and paranoid, and Kenny is clearly at his breaking point.

The worst part is, it's their fault. They hurt Kenny by using how deeply and purely he loves against him. They had, if unintentionally, turned the two against each other.

Matt knows he has to do something about this. 

"Adam, stop. You're drunk out of your mind right now, you're not thinking straight."

"Yeah, I wasn't thinking straight. Not until I realised everyone thinks I'm a fool"

"Adam, please, stop it. You're paranoid." Kenny whispers. He's holding everything in now, trying not to make things worse by crying. "This isn't about him. I love you."

"Just don't." He sighs, voice wavering a little, as if he were about to cry himself. "We both know you're a liar. It's all you ever do, lie through your fucking teeth. You've not changed one bit since Bullet Club."

That stung. Adam knows he still lies awake at night, thinking about the things he's done. Adam knows how it all fucked him up emotionally. 

Kenny just closes his eyes and tries to block it all out. Tries to freeze his brain, make all the noises stop. It's too loud and too much and the noises around him crackle like static as his brain tries to interpret them.

"You need help." Matt says. "This can't continue. This isn't you talking. We should have intervened months ago."

"And you two, as always, taking Kenny's side." He slurred. "I've never fuckin liked any of you. Thought I made that clear back in Japan."

Kenny tenses up at that. Thoughts rush through his head, not in sentences, but isolated words and pictures.

Sapporo. Cody. Adam. Chair. Hold still. 

He's shaking, now, he can feel it. Nick tried to reassure him, while Adam and his brother are practically about to lock horns. 

"Look what you've done." Matt seethes, ready to tear Adam to shreds both verbally and physically. Nick pulls him back. As much as he wants to set Adam straight, he knows that Kenny needs them more. It isn't often that the younger bosses his brother around, but Matt's temper does get the better of him sometimes.

"Stop it, both of you! This isn't helping." Nick chastised 

Matt's eyes flicker over to Kenny, who is clearly having a total panic attack, and they immediately soften and fill with worry. He's not had one since they left Japan.

He's at Kenny's side in moments, kneeling next to him. Matt and Nick are either side of him, he knows that, it's one of the only things that registers. Their voices are just static, and he can't tune back in. One of them touches his arm, and it's like fire on his skin. He flinches away from the contact, probably letting out a whimper.

He can't breathe properly, all he can do is take those short, gasping breaths that make him feel like he's dying. He's spent so long pretending to be okay. It feels like forever, that he's been hiding all of this on top of the shelf. He'd let his problems gather dust up there, left them so long he'd forgotten about them. 

He can hear their voices as if they were coming through a walkie-talkie. They're so loud, and they crackle and break, and there's still that static whirring in the background. The static feels like sandpaper and broken glass, grinding against the inside of his head, trying to get out. He covers his ears to shield himself from the sound, but he just can't escape. 

"What do we do? I've never seen him this bad before-" that's Nick, he thinks. It's so hard to tell when the volume is piercing and the static muddles it all. 

"I don't know- I- this isn't my strong suit, Nick-" Matt, at least he thinks it's Matt, replies. He sounds frantic. 

"We need to do something-"

Kenny is still curled up. His body feels heavy, like it isn't his own. All he can feel is the rushing panic, suffocating him. All he can hear is the static, and snippets of familiar voices, like he's listening to a broken radio of memories.

He tries to open his eyes but the sights and the static are like needles, and he squeezes them closed again.

"Turn off the lights and shut up. You're making him worse." Adam says as he crosses the room, sitting just opposite Kenny.

Kenny looks up at him, eyes opening up. It's so much gentler on his eyes this way, and though the static is still whirring away, at least Matt and Nick's frantic shouting has stopped.

Adam's eyes are guilt-ridden, he looks so worried. "Can I touch you, Kenny? If it's too overwhelming you'll tell me, alright?"

Kenny nods, and Adam takes his hand, pressing it to his chest. Kenny is still breathing in those short, sharp breaths that make his lungs sting.

"Breathe with me, Kenny."

Kenny's breaths are shakier, and the tears are drying on his cheeks, but he's already feeling more relaxed. Not enough to tune back in properly yet, but he's getting there.

"There we go. You're doing so well, Kenny. Shh.." he comforts. Kenny slowly relaxes, gradually allowing his legs to rest out in front of him rather than keeping his knees hugged close. 

He gently pats the spot beside him, inviting Adam to sit with him. He needs the contact to keep him grounded, now that he's come down a little. Touches don't feel like gravel abrading his flesh, they feel like clear sounds through the static. A voice to guide him. 

Matt can hardly believe it. 

"After everything he said about you, you're just forgiving him!?" He shrieks indignantly, and immediately, Kenny curls in on himself again. He's covering his ears

"Matt, Stop." Adam says gently, keeping his voice both gentle and serious.

"No! I'm not letting this go, I can't! What you said was-"

"I'm not asking you to let it go. I'm asking you to look at what you're doing to him, he's shaking... he needs a peaceful environment to process everything, please stop shouting. He hasn't forgiven me at all. I understand your anger, but please, save it for a time where it will only hurt me."

Matt glares but says nothing, as Adam works Kenny through it, trying to keep him calm. He falls asleep before he's ever properly back to himself. Adam tucks him in.

"You two should go." He suggests, not even looking at them. He's sat at the corner of Kenny's bed. "When he wakes up, he won't be overwhelmed from the match. I wouldn't want to be you when he remembers what you did to him."

"Is that a threat?"

"It's a warning, and you know it. I'm staying because I don't think it's a good idea to leave him, just in case he wakes again. I'm not going to be in his good books either."

He closes his eyes. "I'll find a way to fix it, I'm sure. He knows how hard I'm trying to get sober. He knows how hard I’m trying to be better." 

"Trying isn't enough." Matt snapped. 

"Maybe you could try something. How about you try to be better friends? He's not wrong to hate you for this. You planned that ahead of time. You really saw nothing wrong with that? What would you have done if you'd won that way? Was he just a stepping stone to you?" 

Matt is left speechless.

"That's the thing, isn't it? You two... you're no better than I am.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because I am soft I wrote a short chapter 2, so it ends on a lighter note!

Adam doesn’t expect to find Kenny like this. 

Really, he should have been ready for it, but as he stood there in the doorway, he froze, not knowing what to do. 

It had an been an odd morning. Waking up after the match, the war that had taken place last night. The fight that came after. He was hurt and exhausted and so hungover, but he manages to get out of bed in the early evening.

The first thing that he had done after taking care of the hangover, was check his phone. Nothing from Kenny. Normally he gets a message, or something asking how he’s feeling. He understands. He doesn’t remember much of the evening, but he knows he hadn’t been the greatest.

He knows he hurt Kenny by fighting with the bucks, and he probably said some things he didn’t mean to him as well. He knows he comforted him too, at least there’s that. He knows he stayed until Kenny was fast asleep, before going to his own room. He’s just glad he thought ahead and got a hotel room of his own, just in case. It’s just a shame he hadn’t been able to pull his usual disappearing act, what with his tag partner clinging to him that way. Maybe he could have caused a bit less damage. 

The Bucks had shot him a text, let him know that Kenny hadn’t responded to their calls. It was expected after everything that had happened. 

The texts are polite, and that’s as close as the Bucks will ever get to practically begging him for forgiveness. He knows they’re only really sorry for upsetting Kenny, he knows that as soon as they asked if Adam could check on him. Kenny is the only thing they bother pretending to care about.

When he had knocked on Kenny’s door, he   
had expected to find Kenny curled up with snacks, 3 hours deep into an Anime binge session. Or maybe on his switch, playing Animal Crossing to calm his nerves. He gets lost in his interests all the time, especially when he’s a little stressed out. It’s always something dumb and adorable and so unequivocally Kenny that Adam can’t help but love him for it. Everything about him is just so endearing.

He knows their relationship isn’t working out. It was just never meant to, it was always going to end this way. Adam had been a crutch, propping Kenny up while he dealt with all those unresolved feelings. 

It’s alright. He just wished Kenny had been more honest from the start, but he know he’s not in a position to criticise. He should have known better from the start, that Kenny will always love Kota. 

He gets this feeling, standing just outside the door. Something... isn’t right, but he just ignores it as he opens the door. 

Kenny doesn’t even look towards the sound, his eyes only flutter shut. He’s clutching a Golden Lovers t-shirt and theres tears rolling down his face.

It makes Adam’s heart clench. It’s always hard, seeing Kenny cry. It’s harder knowing that Kenny is crying over someone else.

He slowly approaches, and his heart breaks as Kenny takes a gasping breath, before the hiccuping sobs wrack his chest once more.   
He wipes his eyes with the heels of his hands.

“What do you want?”

He sits at the end of the bed. He doesn’t mention Matt and Nick, he knows their a volatile topic.

“I want to apologise. And, I think we need to talk.” He says softly. “About us.”

“We talked plenty last night. You made it clear how you feel.” 

“I don’t remember what I said, but... I know it hurt you. I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault.” He mumbled. “You were drunk.”

“Kenny, it is my fault. I should have communicated those feelings in a better way. So, let’s talk. If- if that’s okay.”

Kenny nods.

“I... I think we should break up. You still love him, Kenny. I know you didn’t mean to lead me on, but you can’t keep doing this to yourself. I’m not good for you. I just remind you how much you miss him. I think... I think we should just be friends.”

“I’m really sorry.” he said softly, tracing the pattern on the shirt with his fingers. He’s smiling, faintly. Adam knows he’s thinking about Kota. “I feel like a terrible person.”

“We’ve hurt each other a lot.” He replies. “But there’s plenty of room to fix that. We’ve both made a huge mess of... everything.”

“Communication isn’t exactly the Elite’s strong suit, Kenny...” 

“That’s a massive understatement.” Kenny sniffles. “I miss him so much, Adam. It’s been a year... and still, not one second goes by that I don’t think of him.”

Kenny hugs the shirt tight to his chest. It’s only then that it clicks in Adam’s mind that it probably once belonged to Kota. 

“I’m sure he misses you too, Kenny.”

“He doesn’t. He never picks up. I leave voicemails, but he never calls back. He leaves my texts on read.“

There’s no comforting answer to that.

“A piece of him will always be yours, just as he will always have part of you. Your paths will cross again, the stars will align. I’m sure of it. And when you meet again, I’m sure it’ll be like falling in love for the first time all over again.”

“Thank you for being here, with me.” Kenny says, gently. “Mind if I ask for some advice?”

“I can try my best.” 

“... what do I do about Matt and Nick?”

“Kenny, I-“ he sighs. “What they did to you... it’s not okay. If it was a spur of the moment thing, then maybe it would be the different. But they planned that. You are worth more than those titles. If they can’t see that, then... I just feel sorry for them.”


End file.
